I'm So Great: The Rantings of a Jaded Youth

When I grow up, I want to be just like me.

Stephen Colbert/Hitler Slash Anyone? July 31, 2011

It’s funny the things that surface after years of being forgotten. In 2005 I created a second fake LiveJournal account. My first had been a fiery Latina who had been masterminded by my bff Brittany and I, but no one was very interested Clementina. LiveJournal is a complete vag-fest so who cares about another chick? When we had Clementina tell all the LJ Daily Show slash groups to petition the Daily Show for on-air man-on-man correspondent make-outs (I was obsessed.), the vote was split between all the girls who were young enough to think it was a great idea and all the women who knew that celebrities are human beings and were outraged.

When Clementina went down in a hail of metaphorical gunfire, a second account was created as a gay teenager named Chad. Now eyebrows were raised. A cute gay boy who was interested in all the same things as the girls?! Squeee! Chad became an instant hit. All the girls loved him. I had physical pen pals that I wrote to (sorry about that) and Chad was invited to meet girls at Anime Expo and the premiere of Harry Potter 4. I was 16 and I spent a lot of time exchanging slash fanfiction so it was only a matter of time before I started contributing. I ran across a group that was so ridiculous that I had to contribute. Who could say no to HitlerSlash? So I wrote a very short fanfiction using the thing I was most obsessed with at the time: Stephen Colbert.

Last night, a few days shy of a full 6 years later, the subject of fanfiction came up and I thought of this immediately. The friend who brought fanfiction up in the first place doesn’t even believe I wrote it because his girlfriend told him he had to read it literally this week. Too fabulous!