I'm So Great: The Rantings of a Jaded Youth

When I grow up, I want to be just like me.

MC PMS finally gets a song March 6, 2010

…which I scribbled in my notebook last night while half asleep. Behold.

And here’s the whole song:

Jungle black and you’re lookin’ fine
I’d swing with you from vine to vine
Chocolate skin and caramel eyes
Such a sweet treat for between my thighs
In a split second, I’d take you to bed
Only problem is I’m seeing red

I’ve got mad PMS
Send an S.O.S.
I’m drowning in this sea

I’ve opened up the flood gates
Ain’t no way to navigate
The mad emotional state
I get in when I menstruate
Don’t push me to demonstrate
I’ll kick you in the prostate
You said you just wanted a date
Now you’re left to masturbate
It really is unfortunate
You caught me at my time
You could have been mine
Now I’m left with just the rhyme
There’ll be more of your kind
And you’ll have to learn to deal with mine

Cuz all girls get mad PMS
Take it from MC PMS
You’ve got to deal with the mess
If you want to keep your girl

So forgive me for the sweet and sour
This ain’t the age of delicate flowers
We’ve got to work for our living just like you
We get equal pay but we want equal downtime too
I’ll try to keep us low on stress
But there’s no way around a little PMS.


StephInfection was taken as a blog name but that didn’t stop me. February 18, 2010

I was sitting in a computer class (my first class since dropping out of art school oh so many years ago) and I realized that rappers can get away with anything.  I can’t stop listening to Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew and that doesn’t bother me one bit because they’re fucking great.  Then I got to thinking about the things that I actually know about, and, if there’s anything I love, it’s girling things up for the rest of the world.  Cable news, 80’s horror movies, tabletop roleplaying games.  Nothing is safe!  Hence, the teen rap sensation StephInfection was born.  Here’s my first song and a picture of the diva crew, who will all be played by me:

Ele oh el at my cell phone and I send you a text
We talk three times a minute ‘cuz we’re BFF
We’ve got ribbons in our hair; our clothes look like a confection
Watch out high school, here comes Steph Infection

Got outta P.E. ‘cuz I’ve got the cramps
Ain’t no way I’m gonna jog with these tramps
I’m MC PMS and I’ve always been a loner
My gym teacher’s tryin’ to hide his BONER

Touchin’ up my make-up in the middle of class
Wouldn’t wear this if I didn’t want you starin’ at my ass
I’m Funky Brewster and I’m up to get down
Even though my mom says I look like a clown

DJ Sparkle on the way to Home Ec.
I’ll bake you a cake with my Betty Crocker cooking set
Mend you pants, make a perfect souffle
When I take off my apron, I’m an A+ lay

All the boys want us ‘cuz we’re so fine
We just tell ’em to go wait in line
Steph Infection is storming your school
Three sweet girls breaking all the rules