I'm So Great: The Rantings of a Jaded Youth

When I grow up, I want to be just like me.

StephInfection was taken as a blog name but that didn’t stop me. February 18, 2010

I was sitting in a computer class (my first class since dropping out of art school oh so many years ago) and I realized that rappers can get away with anything.  I can’t stop listening to Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew and that doesn’t bother me one bit because they’re fucking great.  Then I got to thinking about the things that I actually know about, and, if there’s anything I love, it’s girling things up for the rest of the world.  Cable news, 80’s horror movies, tabletop roleplaying games.  Nothing is safe!  Hence, the teen rap sensation StephInfection was born.  Here’s my first song and a picture of the diva crew, who will all be played by me:

Ele oh el at my cell phone and I send you a text
We talk three times a minute ‘cuz we’re BFF
We’ve got ribbons in our hair; our clothes look like a confection
Watch out high school, here comes Steph Infection

Got outta P.E. ‘cuz I’ve got the cramps
Ain’t no way I’m gonna jog with these tramps
I’m MC PMS and I’ve always been a loner
My gym teacher’s tryin’ to hide his BONER

Touchin’ up my make-up in the middle of class
Wouldn’t wear this if I didn’t want you starin’ at my ass
I’m Funky Brewster and I’m up to get down
Even though my mom says I look like a clown

DJ Sparkle on the way to Home Ec.
I’ll bake you a cake with my Betty Crocker cooking set
Mend you pants, make a perfect souffle
When I take off my apron, I’m an A+ lay

All the boys want us ‘cuz we’re so fine
We just tell ’em to go wait in line
Steph Infection is storming your school
Three sweet girls breaking all the rules

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