I'm So Great: The Rantings of a Jaded Youth

When I grow up, I want to be just like me.

Just a Quickey Today May 15, 2011

Hey guys! I just wanted to mention that Hell on Heels is doing another show at the Brick By Brick in San Diego on Saturday, June 25th. No pasties from me this time, but I’ll definitely be there in my retro best because, as you’ll recall, Tatas Through Time was a joy. (Not sure what era they want us to dress in yet but there’s time!)


Tatas Through Time was a joy! February 14, 2011

I know I haven’t been able to shut up about Hell on Heels for the last week, but I went to their Tatas Through Time show on Saturday at the Brick by Brick and it was such a blast!

The Brick by Brick, in case you’ve never been there but plan on going (for example, to Hell on Heels’ next show ;D), is tucked inconspicuously away behind the Bull’s Smokin’ BBQ and Saloon, which is also pretty awesome. Tatas Through Time was retro dress optional for the audience and, as you know, I fucking love dressing up. I called up my ex-hairdresser mom and my fabulous grandma and they gave me the most ridiculous beehive for the show. This thing was obscenely big and full when they first teased it onto my head, but my hair is notorious for not doing what hairspray wants. Check out that progression:




My grandma’s only warnings about the beehive were to stay away from open flames and to avoid humidity because it would make my hair frizz. Well, I did pretty well avoiding open flames, but the Brick by Brick was so packed for the show that every single person was intimately acquainted with every person around them so frizz I did. No room for a stray boner in there. Good thing we weren’t seeing anything sexy–oh wait…

When we first walked in, there was a girl laid out on a table in nothing but pasties, nude panties, and a garnish of strawberries in whipped cream. This is about the only thing I got a picture of because once we packed in for the show, there was no room or energy for dicking around with a camera.

The show was an absolute delight though. The girls were sparkly and energetic and even their scantily clad clean-up dame was showy and bubbly as she tidied up the glittering, discarded gloves and bras and assorted costume bits and brought out the next act.

I of course had an interest in Miss Ginger N. Whiskey because she was wearing my pistol pasties in her Bonnie Parker act and my sheriff stars in her Calamity Jane act, but I would have had to give her a mention even if she hadn’t been because she was absolutely adorable in every way. Her act was very classy and she had such an innocent energy. I was immediately smitten. Check out the pasties! I worked so hard on them and I was bummed that I couldn’t get any good pictures of them on stage. Nothing makes you feel like a pervert quite like attempting to take a picture of something that is nipple-mounted.





All the girls were amazing. The Betty Boop act knocked us dead, and I almost swooned when Rosie the Riveter took off her jumpsuit to reveal a red, white, and blue glitter corset, then again when she removed the striped corset to reveal a glitter blue bra with a giant star in the middle. And while each girl rocked, my entire group fell madly in love with the Amazon woman Bibi Bordeaux. Pictures are great, but seeing this woman in action is a treat. She was graceful and coy and her act really played into the glorious burlesque tradition of showing just the right amount of skin at any given moment but always keeping the audience straining to see more.

The Hell on Heels troupe is already hard at work on their next show, Dangerous Curves Ahead, which will be on April 1st also at the Brick By Brick. Plan ahead and see them! They’re better and cheaper than a movie. If you missed Tatas Through Time, you missed out on the most entertainment you could possibly get for $10!


Hell on Heels! February 8, 2011

Filed under: Etsy,Things I've Made — Stephanie Fantastic @ 9:22 pm
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Hey guys! I just wanted to remind you that if you’re near San Diego, Ca, Hell on Heels will be performing Tatas Through Time at the Brick by Brick (1130 Buenos Ave, San Diego, Ca 92109) on Saturday, February 12th. The show starts at 10:30 PM, but the doors open at 9 PM. It’s only $12 at the door, $10 if you dress in your finest retro gear, so come on out! I’ll be down there in costume to see my first pair of pasties on stage.


My Pasties Might Grace the Stage January 25, 2011

Filed under: Etsy — Stephanie Fantastic @ 4:58 pm
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I’m super excited about being contacted by Hell on Heels to make a couple pairs of pasties for their Tatas Through Time show. I won’t give anything away, but all information about the show is on their blog. So if you’re in the San Diego area on Saturday, February 14th, and you have $10 to spare, come down and enjoy a rocking burlesque show with me!


A Bracing Curative For The Afflictions Of Our Time June 12, 2010

Inga Ingenue

So I was debating and debating about whether or not I could afford to go to the Ink N Iron Festival specifically to

Fuchsia Foxxx

see Circus Contraption and I’m glad I finally decided to go. It was completely awesome.

First of all, the Ink N Iron Festival was cooler than I expected, being a person who doesn’t have a single tattoo or care about vintage cars. They had all sorts of incredibly cute things that I desperately wanted to buy but knew I had no money for. Hot pink vintage-inspired dresses in my size! I could have died! And mini tophats and sparkly lollipop earrings. Gah! I ache inside just thinking about it. Plus, there was that mermaid Hitler (played by Megan Fox) riding a sharktank that’s shooting flaming tridents at a t-rex underwater tattoo that I could have gotten in front of everyone in a showroom on the Queen Mary. Eh? Ah?

But Circus Contraption. They were fabulous. They played their dark, beautiful music to a series of pretty sweet burlesque and magic acts. When I walked into the bar area by the stage, I almost tripped over my own feet because Bunny Lamont was standing around having a drink with Schmootzy the Clod. I, of course, did my best creepy fangirl impression and stalked from afar. I think I then unwittingly pissed off Inga Ingenue, the opening burlesque act, by gushing about Circus Contraption and having no idea who she was. Maybe not, though. Maybe she was just playing her jaded character still. And apologies to Fuchsia Foxxx, the second act, as well. Both ladies were standing in line behind us as the ATM looking amazing, and they later performed stunningly, Inga with a hilarious Blazing Saddles Madaleine Khan-esque angry/disinterested act and Fuchsia with a beautiful belly-dance and a riot of color. I can now aspire to be as colorful as Ms. Foxxx.

The show was really fun. I didn’t even start out this post with the intention of talking about the rest of the show, but as I was thinking about it more and more, I

Christopher Wonder

realized that the whole show was so fun and naughty and wholly Circus Contraption in feel. I tried desperately to

Karina the Snake Dancer

find links for all these great acts because they were all crazy fun, but some of these guys are pretty well hidden. For example, the next act.

Scraggly performer Christopher Wonder came out after Ms. Foxxx and did some cool switch tricks with a lit cigarette and an egg, produced and drank several beers, and then made a chicken out of fire and pulled a length of scarves out of its ass. Then the absolutely gorgeous Karina came out and contorted with a giant albino snake. Trixie Minx was adorable and sparkly and classy in her strip-tease. I was won over immediately when she took off her top hat and had on underneath…ANOTHER SMALLER TOP HAT. Joy! Also, she had Hootchie Coochie girls playing and that’s just about my favorite Circus Contraption song.

I feel absolutely terrible for not remembering his name, but The Mystic Man came out and did some neat balancing tricks and then swallowed several swords and a chair leg with a chair attached. You know, I’ve never seen a live sword swallowing act and it was totally stressful to watch. Be careful, Christopher! While he was performing, they were setting up a gigantic swan for Leila Bazzani‘s transformation act, which was beautiful, but confusingly done to Slaughter Promenade. Next up was Rachel Brice, who did the sexiest belly dance in this beautiful gypsy outfit and did not need to take a single article of clothing off to be on par with all the other girls. I move that had she taken any clothes off at all, the audience would have exploded. Plus, I loved the baggy, vertically striped pants she was wearing under her skirt. So cute!

Leila Bazzani

And finally, stripping over two songs, out of two bras and three pairs of underwear, was the amazon goddess Catherine D’Lish

Trixie Minx

This woman has to be seen to be believed. She’s got that Old Hollywood glamour, she’s built like Jessica Rabbit, and every movement she made was dripping with sex appeal.

So, the Carnal Cabaret will be performing today and tomorrow in Sin Alley on the Queen Mary and I definitely recommend seeing it and grabbing some food and goodies at the festival. I had a lot of fun just people watching in the crowd, heh. We only got to the Festival about an hour before the show, but it was definitely worth the $40 just for that. If you can get out to it, definitely do.

Rachel Brice

Catherine D Lish