I'm So Great: The Rantings of a Jaded Youth

When I grow up, I want to be just like me.

On Working Out and Losing Weight July 28, 2011

Filed under: My Life,Things I've Done — Stephanie Fantastic @ 5:30 pm
Tags: , , ,

I recently decided to start working out again with the aid of a relatively addictive app from MyFitnessPal (Damn you Jill! lol) and it’s gotten me thinking about weight and fitness more than I probably ever have. I’ve been overweight pretty much my entire life. Nowadays I’m apparently just over the line of being medically obese, although when I think of the word “obese” I don’t really think of someone my size. Who does, I guess. I’ve been 210 pounds and size 18 since I was about 12 so I’ve definitely grown into my weight over the years.

When I was growing up, I had the Mexican As-Seen-On-TV interpretation of all-American eating habits drilled into me: Bigger is better; if a little fat and grease is tasty, then a lot of fat and grease will be even more delicious!; and if at the end of a meal you can still move without feeling sick, you’re not thoroughly enjoying the meal. Apply these to a barely supervised child who lived with her best friend for an entire summer, and you get a couple of 11-year-olds who can down an entire 2-liter each and a backpack full of candy in a movie theater. We have a very round extended family.

I could never figure out how I couldn’t lose any weight. I mean, the skinny girls in my school were eating candy in class every period and chowing down on fast food lunches, whereas I didn’t eat breakfast or anything at school except the occasional soda or water. I waited until I got home, usually at around 3 or 4 in the afternoon, to even start eating. This was mostly because when people looked at me, they saw a fat kid who obviously couldn’t stop eating. How could I eat in front of them without them immediately judging me? Even though I didn’t eat at school, I still had people asking me if I had candy stashed away that they could have. Seriously, do people walk around with a candy shop in their backpacks? I never had anything but books and notebooks in my bag. So my metabolism suffered for years.

I think the only thing that kept me from ballooning after the initial summer when I had gained a ton of weight was my constant energy. I walked pretty much everywhere until I was about 19 and finally learned to drive. When I started doing an independent study program instead of school (bad idea for me academically), I ended up at the beach every day instead of doing any class work. I definitely tightened up, but I was still stuck at 210 pounds. I still had my rolly tummy and my flabby arms despite daily, extended exercise because my eating habits were still terrible. I was eating to excess and I didn’t even know it!

A few years ago, I started paying attention to serving sizes and calories and, lo and behold, I found my problem: I was eating a ridiculous amount of food. Not even particularly terrible food anymore because, as it turns out, I’m allergic to just about everything processed and preserved, and I get absolutely incapacitating migraines when I eat processed food or when I eat sugar before eating actual meals. I drank nothing but water for at least three years beginning at about 16, and I tried to stick to real food, instead of frozen meals, pre-made sauces, or anything that was likely to trigger a migraine. The problem was that I was eating three or four times as much food as I actually needed.  I brought this up to my boyfriend and we started to scale back the portions. After we moved out, we were still eating a lot less and suddenly we were also eating a lot healthier.

Now the problem I have is that I can drive and I work in a relatively sedentary job so I now have to make time to exercise, which I have finally been motivated to do, bringing me back to the beginning of this post. I don’t have too many body issues, as I’ve amply demonstrated on this site, but I’m not delusional. I know I’m overweight and, while I don’t hate myself, I’m not entirely satisfied with my body. So fingers crossed. I’ve broken the 210 pound curse with exercise. The second my tummy is presentable, I will…I don’t know…try not to become too slutty. Wish me luck! (On the weight loss, you pervs.)


11 Responses to “On Working Out and Losing Weight”

  1. Danielle Says:

    Stephanie!!!!! You rock so hard. Every time I read your posts they make me smile. I am happy that you wrote about this topic in specific because it’s like a constant thing for me too. I got all in a relationship and stuff and we started going out all of the time so it was hard to get back on any kind of track. But we are trying to do that now, so, YAY! HEALTH! MISS YOU SO!

    • :DD I feel you on that. I was feeling so run down after a while because Ernie and I were eating fast food like every day. It’s crazy how much better you feel when you eat for reals food. The biggest problem I have with actually getting motivated to lose weight is always that it takes so long. If I could put in a month of effort at be at a good weight, I’d be cool, lol. But it takes AGES. Love you! One of these days we’ll get back to Oregon. I need to remind myself that I why to move up there! XD

  2. DJ Schway Says:

    Well you certainly have a better plan than I did back when I lost my 100 pounds. I was eating almost nothing and doing physical labor at a supermarket for 25 hours a week. Now I’m 180 or so but I’m what they call “skinny-fat”. Meaning I look skinny but if I take off my shirt then everyone must suppress their vomit.

    I’d love to get into a workout schedule and eat healthier but I just don’t think it’s gonna happen at this house. I don’t have the energy or money to clean this place up well enough and then go out and buy all that healthy food stuff. Especially since I’m going to start school next month. I’ve decided that much like you cool kids, once I move out I’m gonna make some life changes. Too bad that probably won’t happen until I’m done with school, haha. So that’s like 5 more years of skinny-fat laziness! Woo!

    • Lol, you sure got results though. XD But yea, it’s really hard to make good eating choices when someone else is buying a lot of the food and the kitchen is dirty AND inaccessible (like, for example, there’s no floor, lol). If you can get school in though, definitely do it. I won’t have enough money to get back to it in any serious way for at least a couple years, which sucks. Not that I was taking very useful classes, but I’d like to take some more sewing classes.

      • DJ Schway Says:

        Yeah, not to be offensive towards Seth, but his stagnation has really encouraged me to move forward in life. I’m going to school with a very set goal in mind. Do my general education classes at SAC then transfer to a school with a program for a “Mortuary Technician”. I think Cypress College is the only place I could find that’s close by. The choices are a bit limited.

        • Mortuary Technician? That’s still madness. I don’t know if I could deal with dead people all day. I know what you mean about stagnation though. I keep worrying I’m going to stagnate, which is why I’ve been adamant about not having kids yet and I keep changing up my hobbies, lol.

          • DJ Schway Says:

            Well yeah, it’s not for everyone. But from what I’ve heard (from multiple sources), it’s one of those jobs where if it’s the right job for you you’ll just know it, and that’s how I feel about it. I even bought a book by this chick that chronicles her first year as one and it’s crazy interesting.

  3. Jill Says:

    Yeah, dude. When we were teenagers I’d come over and eat like 10 enchiladas and 10 fruit pies. Oh yeah, and a pot of that 7-11 coffee and a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos. Oh god, I miss my teenage metabolism!

    • Man, I miss my mom’s cooking. She never cooks anymore and when she does, she’s kind of going the way of Grandpa and adding WAY too much salt. I’d always lose like ten pounds whenever I went over to Brittany’s and then equillibrium out when I came back, lol.

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