I'm So Great: The Rantings of a Jaded Youth

When I grow up, I want to be just like me.

Fuck Your Car November 10, 2010

This is an open letter to the guy in the new Mercedes-Benz I had the pleasure of driving near on the way to work.

Dear Ass Hole,

I am not impressed by your expensive car. It doesn’t matter how much you paid for it, you still do not own the road. All the laws of traffic still apply to you, meaning that when you change lanes erratically to be the first person to the red light, you use your turn signals; when turn lanes are labeled, you must turn into the corresponding turn lane, NOT rush to the least crowded one and turn into whichever one you need afterwards; and crosswalks are for pedestrians, not the middle of your car, you fucking idiot. You have more money than God apparently. Buy some damn driving lessons.


P.S. No, sir, I will not race your brand new car in my 1996 Isuzu Rodeo. I hope you saw me stick my tongue out at you as I passed you for the fortieth time in ten minutes though.


2 Responses to “Fuck Your Car”

  1. FrozenTundran Says:

    Check out:

    I think it’s appropriate.

    • Holy shit, yes. You have no idea how much I love Kids in the Hall. I used to watch them on taped VHS every week because my friend was home-schooled and she taped them all for me.They’re pretty much the best thing ever.

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