I'm So Great: The Rantings of a Jaded Youth

When I grow up, I want to be just like me.

Okay, once again, I know this is SO interesting… August 30, 2010

So I’ll keep it short. My Ralph’s doesn’t stock the facial cleanser I like and now apparently no one does. If Olay would just send me a case of it, I could stop bitching about every other cleanser on the market. Although, that might be their evil plan. Clever, Olay. Clever.

This would not be a HUGE problem, except that have an incredibly short memory. Remember that facial cleanser that made me into a horror movie monster not three months ago (complained about again here)? Well I almost bought it again. “Hey! That looks like it might do the same thing that my beloved Olay Regenerist does. Wait, why does this name sound familiar? FUCK YOU, NEUTROGENA!” Seriously, I’m retarded. Once I’d banished that one back to the shelf from whence it came though, I opted for some Clean and Clear Daily Pore Cleanser. Now, I don’t have any problems with the way it cleans my face thus far. The problem I have with it is that it looks like semen and when I open the container, it spurts out before I’m ready. I don’t know why they couldn’t put a light coloration to it, but the folks at Clean and Clear apparently decided that women would like to clean their faces with a product that looks like it came out of a penis. Whatever floats your boat, guys. So if things go horribly awry with this, I’ll be sure to let you know what not to buy, lllllladies.

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