I'm So Great: The Rantings of a Jaded Youth

When I grow up, I want to be just like me.

I don’t understand picky eaters August 6, 2010

My dad is a fucking picky eater. He eats nothing but turkey and wonder bread sandwiches (no other ingredients), cheerios, and goldfish. Now, I don’t begrudge a man his cheerios and goldfish, but I expect that man to not begrudge me my curry either. I love to bake and cook, and I love to experiement with food. My dad, however, will eww pretty much anything that he hasn’t eaten in the last 24 hours. A typical conversation with my dad goes something like this:

Dad: Ewww, what was that smelly thing you were cooking last night?

Me: Pork stir fry.

Dad: Ewwwwwww, pork! Why couldn’t you make something good like ground beef?

Me: Really? You’ll eat ground beef but not pork? What’s wrong with pork?

Dad: I just don’t like it. Man, don’t you need to go to the store? You could get ice cream!

Me: I just bought strawberry ice cream yesterday. It’s in the fridge.

Dad: Ewwwww! Who likes strawberry?! Why couldn’t you get something good like chocolate?

Me: Who doesn’t like strawberry? I also made lemon bars. Those are in the fri–

Dad: EWWWW! Lemon!

And then I stab him in the face.


3 Responses to “I don’t understand picky eaters”

  1. Jill Says:

    LOL srsly

  2. Danielle Says:

    Bah hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    My dad used to eat peanut butter mayo sandwiches with potato chips and ketchup…


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