I'm So Great: The Rantings of a Jaded Youth

When I grow up, I want to be just like me.

A Bracing Curative For The Afflictions Of Our Time June 12, 2010

Inga Ingenue

So I was debating and debating about whether or not I could afford to go to the Ink N Iron Festival specifically to

Fuchsia Foxxx

see Circus Contraption and I’m glad I finally decided to go. It was completely awesome.

First of all, the Ink N Iron Festival was cooler than I expected, being a person who doesn’t have a single tattoo or care about vintage cars. They had all sorts of incredibly cute things that I desperately wanted to buy but knew I had no money for. Hot pink vintage-inspired dresses in my size! I could have died! And mini tophats and sparkly lollipop earrings. Gah! I ache inside just thinking about it. Plus, there was that mermaid Hitler (played by Megan Fox) riding a sharktank that’s shooting flaming tridents at a t-rex underwater tattoo that I could have gotten in front of everyone in a showroom on the Queen Mary. Eh? Ah?

But Circus Contraption. They were fabulous. They played their dark, beautiful music to a series of pretty sweet burlesque and magic acts. When I walked into the bar area by the stage, I almost tripped over my own feet because Bunny Lamont was standing around having a drink with Schmootzy the Clod. I, of course, did my best creepy fangirl impression and stalked from afar. I think I then unwittingly pissed off Inga Ingenue, the opening burlesque act, by gushing about Circus Contraption and having no idea who she was. Maybe not, though. Maybe she was just playing her jaded character still. And apologies to Fuchsia Foxxx, the second act, as well. Both ladies were standing in line behind us as the ATM looking amazing, and they later performed stunningly, Inga with a hilarious Blazing Saddles Madaleine Khan-esque angry/disinterested act and Fuchsia with a beautiful belly-dance and a riot of color. I can now aspire to be as colorful as Ms. Foxxx.

The show was really fun. I didn’t even start out this post with the intention of talking about the rest of the show, but as I was thinking about it more and more, I

Christopher Wonder

realized that the whole show was so fun and naughty and wholly Circus Contraption in feel. I tried desperately to

Karina the Snake Dancer

find links for all these great acts because they were all crazy fun, but some of these guys are pretty well hidden. For example, the next act.

Scraggly performer Christopher Wonder came out after Ms. Foxxx and did some cool switch tricks with a lit cigarette and an egg, produced and drank several beers, and then made a chicken out of fire and pulled a length of scarves out of its ass. Then the absolutely gorgeous Karina came out and contorted with a giant albino snake. Trixie Minx was adorable and sparkly and classy in her strip-tease. I was won over immediately when she took off her top hat and had on underneath…ANOTHER SMALLER TOP HAT. Joy! Also, she had Hootchie Coochie girls playing and that’s just about my favorite Circus Contraption song.

I feel absolutely terrible for not remembering his name, but The Mystic Man came out and did some neat balancing tricks and then swallowed several swords and a chair leg with a chair attached. You know, I’ve never seen a live sword swallowing act and it was totally stressful to watch. Be careful, Christopher! While he was performing, they were setting up a gigantic swan for Leila Bazzani‘s transformation act, which was beautiful, but confusingly done to Slaughter Promenade. Next up was Rachel Brice, who did the sexiest belly dance in this beautiful gypsy outfit and did not need to take a single article of clothing off to be on par with all the other girls. I move that had she taken any clothes off at all, the audience would have exploded. Plus, I loved the baggy, vertically striped pants she was wearing under her skirt. So cute!

Leila Bazzani

And finally, stripping over two songs, out of two bras and three pairs of underwear, was the amazon goddess Catherine D’Lish

Trixie Minx

This woman has to be seen to be believed. She’s got that Old Hollywood glamour, she’s built like Jessica Rabbit, and every movement she made was dripping with sex appeal.

So, the Carnal Cabaret will be performing today and tomorrow in Sin Alley on the Queen Mary and I definitely recommend seeing it and grabbing some food and goodies at the festival. I had a lot of fun just people watching in the crowd, heh. We only got to the Festival about an hour before the show, but it was definitely worth the $40 just for that. If you can get out to it, definitely do.

Rachel Brice


Catherine D Lish

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8 Responses to “A Bracing Curative For The Afflictions Of Our Time”

  1. missdebonair Says:

    I’m totally jealous of your story! I can’t afford to go out to any shows like that, but it sounds like an amazing time!

  2. missdebonair Says:

    So, are you a performer?

    • Stephanie Says:

      Nope. Lol, I don’t really have the body for it, but I’m a fan and lately I’ve been making knitted pasties because I thought it was a cute idea. MinervaMayhem.etsy.com. Tell me what you think. Marketable? I saw your fascinators. They’re so cute!

      • missdebonair Says:

        “don’t have the body”??? YEAH RIGHT! It’s Burlesque! There is no body-type for Burlesque! You just need to get up on stage and go for it :)

        OMG! I just checked them out, totally cute! I bet they are comfy too! I make all of my own pasties using felt as the base and add whatever else on top of that. You can also apply them with spray adhesive. It lasts a lot longer than a little bottle eyelash glue and comes off easily with vegetable oil

        • Stephanie Says:

          Lol, awesome! I think I have a bottle of spray adhesive around here somewhere too. I’ve been using double sided tape and it’s not bad. It’s definitely a lot less noxious than when I tried spirit gum. That stuff was in my mouth for days. XD

          I’ve got to get on making some costumes. I’m always super bummed when I go into stores and they have nothing in my size in any color or style I’d like to wear. So that’s my next project. Bright, sparkly fashion for all sizes! And more glitter and sparkles on my site! Time to color the world!

          • missdebonair Says:

            YAY! Haha! I’m not very good at making clothes from scratch but I can alter the crap out of somethin until it looks awesome! I love going to Ross to buy the extra cheap bras and then decorating them :)

            • Stephanie Says:

              Right now, I have the ideas but not the know-how, so I’m taking a sewing class! :D And that’s freaking awesome. Decorating things on the cheap ftw!

              I always want to grab things and modify them, but I get all loopy looking for things that fit me in stores, lol. It shouldn’t be that hard for me! I’m only a size 16/18. I don’t feel too big to buy things in regular stores, but I’m right at that size below plus size stores and above regular stores.


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