What can I say? I’m a fan. I don’t know what it is, but whenever I read a story or watch a movie about two really awkward/socially-inept, ugly people falling in love, my heart soars. You can keep your Nicolas Sparks Ryan Gosling/Rachel McAdams sexy pairings. I want Holden Caulfield to hook up with the girl with the bleedy nails.
I was thinking about this recently because I just picked up Rant by Chuck Palahniuk (at Powell’s in Oregon, lol. Name-drop.) and all of Chuck Palahniuk’s books have a dark, ugly love story going on. In this one, it’s Rant Casey, a black-toothed, animal-scarred hillbilly with rabies and Echo Lawrence, a girl who has withered limbs and a messed up face because of a car accident when she was young. I eat that shit up. I haven’t finished this book yet, but I can’t wait to read more about their horrific, rabid love. In Invisible Monsters, the main character had her face blown off by a shotgun and lusted after a man she is slowly killing with estrogen. And in Lullaby, the fat old journalist ends up with a hairy old sergeant. Palahniuk doesn’t have a monopoly on ugly, awkward love, though. Terry Pratchett utilizes it all the time in his books and I love him so much more for it. All I wanted was big-nosed, skinny Magrat and the jester who ends up being king to get together in the end of Wyrd Sisters. I swooned when ex-alcoholic police chief Sam Vimes and dragon-breeder shut-in Sybil went from a middle-aged convenience marriage to a baby-toting lovefest. It makes me so happy.
I want more ugly love in popular TV and movies. Come on, the media. I know there are a lot of people who only want to see pretty people, but the vast majority of those people are ugly. Let’s celebrate our giant noses and fat asses. Revel in your bony wrists and bad mustache choices. Some things we can change about our physical appearances and some things we can’t. I’m tired of my brother going, Ewww, is that what fat LOOKS like? Yes, it is. I’m sorry you’ve only ever seen cellulite-free, fake-tanned models in bathing suits.
I remember when those Dove ads with the normal-looking girls came out. Or was it Fruit of the Loom? Either way, there’s been a whole bunch of them lately, especially in women’s magazines and they all are right next to a LOSE WEIGHT FAST ad. But people, mostly men, were pissed about those. They asked if we were encouraging obesity in young women. Now I don’t know if you saw those ads, but not a one of those girls was obese. Even the bigger women they’re showing in ads nowaday aren’t obese. I don’t understand why 600lb executives have to scoff and be outraged when a women who weigh 180lbs becomes an underwear model. Europeans don’t have a problem showing people who are too fat, too skinny, too old, too ugly in their movies and I think our media could benefit from that. I’m not saying we slap Ewan McGregor’s wang in everyone’s face, but I’d like to see a fat girl getting her prince every once in a while.