I'm So Great: The Rantings of a Jaded Youth

When I grow up, I want to be just like me.

Circuses March 26, 2010

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I can’t stop thinking about them. Pretty much every drawing in my new notebook has a creepy clown in it. I wish I had some kind of circus-worthy talent so I could dress up in outrageous make-up and sequins and sparkle all night for an adoring audience. I have all these pesky anxieties though and I’m obscenely clumsy. I don’t think I could juggle fire without cringing and heights make my stomach hurt. I can’t hammer nails up my nose or eat swords.

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So I guess it’d have to be my circus. I can sure as hell dress up in the announcer’s tails and tophat and order a bunch of cool people around. It’d be wicked fun. I’d hire freaks and fortune tellers and amazing acts. I could be the Master of Ceremonies Caberet-style and show up in every act in every costume. I love the idea. I’ll have to work on my campy gypsy accent. I think my fixation on circuses lately has a lot to do with my relatively recent discovery of the band Circus Contraption, although circuses have always been on the back burner of my mind along with pirates. This band is amazing. They’re demented and dark and beautiful. Their music is everything I want the world to be. Do I hear pirate circus?

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There just needs to be something in between Barnum and Baily and Cirque du Soleil. I want to watch something fun and light-hearted but not necessarily for kids, and I don’t want to watch costumed interpretive dance. The closest thing I’ve ever seen to reaching that equilibrium was Bobo Fuentes, traveling Mexican circus extraordinaire. Brittany and I happened on it at my local crappy mall completely by accident and couldn’t pass it up. Our original purpose for being at the mall was boredom and the unenthused idea of watching Be Cool in movie theaters. I still haven’t seen it. Take that, John Travolta.

Bobo Fuentes was unique in that it was undeniably sexual. The women wore sparkling, scandalously revealing costumes and the men all had long hair. White make-up and painted smiles? Yea right! They were made up just enough though. Even the clown was redhot. The whole show was a myriad of stunts and dancing all to probably-stolen popular music. It was amazing. This was probably six years ago and I’m still waiting for them to come back. If I had a circus, I’d want it to be Bobo Fuentes as presented by Neil Gaiman.

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