I was running pretty late this morning (apparently the snooze button is right next to the off button) so breakfast was made at break-neck speed. It was break-neck because it all came to a screeching halt when I went for the bread and it was not on the fridge where we always put it.
Ernie: Well, where could it be?
Stephanie: Damned if I know. Maybe it got moldy and Dad threw it away. Nope, not in the trash. I guess it WAS only two days old…
We searched every drawer and cupboard and no bread. Finally, it was time to call Dad.
Stephanie: Okay, I have a weird question…did you move my bread?
Dad: Did I move your…bread? …Well, no…but Kevin (my brother) was over last night.
Dad: We didn’t even eat at the house though. We went out. I know he’s not doing great right now but I don’t think he’d take your bread…
Cut to me trying to make eggs while calling Kevin.
Stephanie: Okay, Kevin. My bread is missing. Where is it?
Kevin: It’s in the washer.
Stephanie: Goddamnit! That’s the only place I didn’t look!