I'm So Great: The Rantings of a Jaded Youth

When I grow up, I want to be just like me.

I am bad at driving. February 20, 2010

Filed under: Things I've Done — Stephanie Fantastic @ 6:42 am
Tags: , ,

Today I broke the rearview mirror off my relatively new Corolla and it got me thinking about how I am am an atrocious driver. I am so bad, in fact, that I’ve been considering rolling down my window when I yell at pedestrians to not walk in front of me because I will accidentally run them over.

While I was learning to drive, we turned into a Kaiser parking lot and a pedesrian walked out in front of me. I hesitated and then hit the gas instead of the brake, giving my Dad a heart attack. Good thing we were at the hospital already.

The point is: Don’t walk in front of my car.


4 Responses to “I am bad at driving.”

  1. Koadtoad Says:

    Newbie-break/gas-freakout thing… Been there, done that.
    ‘Cept mine was in a cemetery and ends with us having the car towed off of a monument headstone that I plowed off the base. It jumped out at me! (Alright, alright. I didn’t turn the wheel back after a turn and when I tried to just STOP, well…. yeah. I was 14. I told them I didn’t want to drive!!!) …On the bright side, as my family was fond of pointing out, at least everyone around was already dead…
    ANYWAY, however long ago that was, it’s STILL nice to know I’m not the only one with one of those stories.

    And hi! New here. Yet another led here by your unicorn pasty fame :)

    • Stephanie Says:

      Hah! Oh god, I can’t help but imagine your parents as super Jewish. “Don’t worry, Marty, we don’t have to pay for any of those fancy-schmancy driving lessons; we’ll just take him to the cemetary. How much harm could he do there?” *cut to car on monument*

      I was a late bloomer at driving though. I didn’t even start until I was 19. I had to call my work and tell them I was going to be late the first time I pumped my own gas because I accidentally held the handle as I was pulling it out of the gas tank and I sprayed myself with gasoline. Lol, good times.

      • Koadtoad Says:


        I’m worse, actually. My desire to drive never increased. I did get my permit a few times at 18-19, but never felt great behind the wheel and decided to just not bother. I’m 26 now, and STILL haven’t bothered.

        • Stephanie Says:

          Lol, shit. If you can make it work, it’s so much cheaper than driving. I used to bus it everywhere. I loved bus adventures! I would never have gotten a license if my bee eff didn’t live a half hour away. XD

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